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.The Girl Who Wants To Rock The World.
Change - Giving myself a new chance
Friday, October 4, 2013 | 6:46 AM | 0 kiss me
Hello there, peeps! =D

It's really been awhile since i stepped into this blog of mine. Urm well, i am so sorry for the immature posts i posted a few months ago. Well, sometimes when you are angry or feeling down, you just need something to express how you feel right? But somehow, i took it the immature way.

Now, truth to be told, i'd say that this year has been really tough on me, especially my academic. Why?? I can't tell also. Since the starting of this year, things have just been weird. I've become a beast. Bad-tempered, selfish and having no idea what i am doing all the time.

I've never had enough sleep for school. In the class, i loathe everything. During biology and history lesson especially, i have never bothered to concentrate to what the teacher is teaching and most of the time i am either busy talking myself away - the teacher has to call me and shut me up all the time and i really have an issue keeping quiet, or sleeping whenever i feel tired. i hate to admit this, but i have come to become a student who disrespect the teachers who simply throw their tantrum around when they are in a bad mood or teachers who ignore me when i ask them questions.

And as a result as you can see, i did very badly in my exam. You see, not listening in the class is bad enough, but at home, i've never bothered to study too. i've become very very very lazy... i have been telling myself: 'Okay, april. that's enough, you've gotta start studying,' but it never happened. i am busy with the social network, Facebook and i cannot seem to leave it alone, thinking that the problems my friends will have if they cannot look for me. So, i spend most of my time practically doing nothing. i feel very guilty though... i even resorted to doing something really bad just so i would not get very bad results. i just can't bear being scolded and the pressure. it doesn't feel good that instead of being understanding, she scolds me like i am really useless...

It's SPM next year and I really don't want to let what happened this year happens next year. I've no idea why i have to do well in academics and even though many people have told me that doing well in academics ensures you a bright future, i just cannot relate myself to it. however, it does definitely feel good to be looked up to for doing well in your studies, and i actually do believe with good results and socializing skills, you can survive in the society :) so you've gotta change and give yourself at least a chance, is that okay, dear you? Trust me, it feels really bad seeing yourself going down because you keep giving yourself excuses to not do something you should be doing.  Believe in God too.

I don't know where my future will lead me, even though i do have dreams which i have to struggle hard to make them come true, but i should make spm counts right? if not i'll really put myself into trouble in the future.

And i am really thankful for teachers like Pn. Chong =D even though i don't do well in my add maths(it's not her problem okay!), but i truly appreciate her effort to do her best in teaching us. She's the kind of teacher who you can joke around with, sometimes i do it up to the point that i kind of hurt her though, but she never really takes it seriously. i am sorry okay!

Should have but i didn't do it. Sigh. But I have to move on and at least make the present counts. I came across to a meaningful phrase on the internet one day which goes like: don't worry about your future. just do what you have to do for now. worrying about your future will only slow you down and eventually you may not complete what has to be done.

Hmm, i am thankful for the seniors and peers who give out useful and have truly inspired me! they may not know though but deep down, i am really thankful to them. i will keep them as my role models :)

Thank God for a second chance too. Thank Him for opening my eyes once again. Thank you, lord.

oh ya, check out my bass teacher's band on www.youtube.com/user/akoustikconnexion. they are a band who plays mostly jazz for weddings and stuffs :) i hope you enjoy their music! ;)

i wanna end this post with something i wanna say:
     "What you see is not what it actually is"

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Biography.

April Lo. I love music. I wanna make my parents proud. I love God :)


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